Sex Abuse Victims: Strategies Churches Use to Silence Them

Hear the word “church,” and we experience different emotions. Some of us have good memories of Sunday School, pot-luck dinners, summer camp, and a place to learn about God. A safe place. To others, a church is just a building. Unfortunately, to others, sexual abuse was happening to them in the church, including the Catholic Church. The abuse went on for decades and was brought to light by an exposé in The Boston Globe in 2002 that led to the arrest of five Catholic priests in the Boston area. Thousands of survivors have come forward with their own stories of abuse. The Catholic Church covered up the abuse, even transferring the offenders to other parishes where the abuse persisted, and the survivors were often silenced.

Sexual abuse in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS/Mormon) has been hinted at for decades. Mormon doctrine has long held that predators who confess such crimes in a confidential religious setting are sheltered under clergy-penitent privilege and, after that, attorney-client privilege. It is believed that many thousands of survivors, both sexes and all ages, have kept quiet their whole lives because of retaliation or stigma.

Complicit churches have strategies set in place to help silence survivors and keep them from coming forward. These strategies include:

Victim Blaming;
Pressure to Forgive and Forget;
Use of Religious Guilt and Shame;
Fear of Ostracism or Excommunication;
Lack of Support From Church Leadership;
Legal Threats or Settlement Agreements;
Power Dynamics and Corruption.

Victim Blaming

Those who were abused were often blamed for their own assault. This blame was often reinforced by the religious teachings of the church. For example, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints teaches that women and girls must dress modestly because not doing so violates the Lord’s law of chastity. In other words, the woman is responsible for the predatory impulses of a man. Therefore, a woman who has been sexually abused by a man can be at fault because she tempted him by her immodest clothes. The blame falls on her, not the male who assaulted her.

Pressure to Forgive and Forget

The teaching of most churches is to forgive those who have wronged us. However, some churches may pressure survivors of abuse to forgive their abusers without addressing the harm that was done. When those in authority abuse the trust they’ve been given and are then protected by the institution of the church, it is just WRONG. The abused girl’s father (her abuser), a practicing dentist, is a free man.

Use of Religious Guilt and Shame

Religious beliefs and practices can be used to manipulate and shame survivors of sexual abuse into silence. Religion, like many other things, can become a tool of manipulation and coercion. Some churches have many rules — do this, don’t do that. LDS girls are required to confess to their bishop when they have committed any sexual sin in detail. This practice of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints can cause guilt and shame for the young girl. Girls learn to view their bodies in a negative way, thus it’s easy to see how survivors of sexual abuse could feel shame and guilt and keep quiet about the abuse that happened to them.

One of the primary vulnerabilities to religious abuse is a deep-seated sense of unworthiness of love and acceptance. If one only adheres to certain behaviors and beliefs, one can become worthy and accepted by God and the community. Any deviation from these views or resistance to the leader’s demands will result in explicit or implicit use of guilt and shame.

Fear of Ostracism or Excommunication

Sexual abuse survivors are often members of churches. If they are sexually abused by a priest, a pastor, a bishop, or even a member, they may fear that if they speak out against them, they may be shunned or excommunicated. The threat of being ostracized or excluded from your church family can certainly cause fear in a sexual abuse survivor.

Lack of Support from Church Leadership

Church leaders may not believe or support survivors of sexual abuse or hide behind clergy-penitent privilege. Furthermore, clergy and church leadership often are not trained in dealing with abuse, and this can lead to further trauma for survivors. Harmful and downright abusive “counsel” can send survivors into a downward spiral. Many survivors can become so traumatized by clergy that they face a faith crisis and may feel unable to participate in organized religion at all.

Sometimes bishops or clergy need to testify in a serious child abuse case because a trusting member told of abuse, but the bishops or clergy try to hide behind clergy-penitent privilege. The church discourages bishops from testifying, citing a law that exempts clergy from having to divulge information about child sex abuse that is gleaned in a confession.

In a recent Arizona case, John Goodrich was arrested and faced a long prison sentence, but the charges were dropped when the bishop who heard his confession was discouraged from testifying under threat of being sued for millions of dollars for bucking clergy-penitent privilege.

Legal Threats or Settlement Agreements

Women who have suffered sexual abuse in a church setting often speak with someone in leadership because they believe that they will be believed and safe. That is not always the case. A bishop is the leader of a local congregation (known as a ward) with duties similar to those of a pastor, priest, or rabbi. If a bishop encounters a situation where a parishioner tells him she has suffered sexual abuse, the bishop calls the church’s Sex Abuse Helpline. The Church’s Sex Abuse Helpline is key to a coverup and is hotly debated. Of the Helpline, the Salt Lake Tribune reported, “Operated by lawyers for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the service is drawing critics who say it does more to safeguard the faith from lawsuits rather than victims from harm.”

The Catholic Church has admitted its failure to protect the vulnerable. That is why settlement funds have been established to compensate survivors. The Catholic Church has paid more than $3 billion to date in child sexual abuse settlements in America alone.

Power Dynamics and Corruption

Power dynamics and corruption within churches can contribute to a culture of silence and cover-ups when it comes to sexual assault. A member of a church should feel that their problem would be addressed rather than what is good for the church. The Catholic Church covered up sex abuse crimes for years that were committed by priests in order to keep the image of the church clean. Some survivors kept quiet about their abuse because the priests who were abusing them told them that what they were doing was okay.

Kim Haines-Eitzeb, Professor in Cornell University’s Department of Near Eastern Studies in the College of Arts & Sciences, says, “The Catholic Church has a long history of actively covering up sexual abuse, including the silencing of victims.” She also says, “But such abuse – violent rape, coercive coverups, victim shaming – is not new.

Systemic abuse can be found in the literary and historical records going back to the very beginnings of the Catholic Church, and outrage at corruption in the church is part of what led to the Protestant Reformation in the 16th century.”

Grooming and manipulation by church leaders can make it difficult for survivors to come forward.

“Grooming” is the process by which the offender gains access to someone, often a child, in order to develop a trusting and/or authoritative relationship. In its narrowest definition, grooming is an intensive campaign by the perpetrator to target, manipulate, abuse, and silence the survivor. But in order to maintain this predatory regime, abusers in institutional settings must also cultivate numerous other relationships, build trust, manipulate authority, and control the community narrative about themselves. The sexual abuse can then take place in a “community setting.” The perpetrator is emboldened to commit the sexual abuse even in the same room as other people. The victim is silenced because the abuser is trusted by others.

Church leaders who are abusers manipulate a person into thinking that what they are doing is what God wants them to do. They can also distort scripture to justify abuse. But abuse is always wrong, and IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT.

Impact on Survivors

In addition to dealing with severe mental and physical trauma, survivors of sexual assault worry about the risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). There are many long-term effects, including shame and guilt. Other related issues that may emerge are eating disorders, physical changes, changes in sexuality, substance abuse, self-harm, thoughts of suicide, anger, and mood disorders such as such as depression and post-traumatic stress.

The emotional toll that survivors suffer can have a tremendous effect on their healing journey. Common long-term psychological and social effects of sexual violence include depression, chronic post-traumatic stress symptoms, interpersonal disturbances, and re-victimization. Other responses can include acute stress reactions, emotional detachment, and sleep disturbances.

How to Overcome These Tactics.

Overcoming tactics to silence the survivors of sexual assault is a powerful way for survivors to heal. One of the most important tips for survivors is to speak out and share their stories in a safe space. There are many organizations and websites where the survivor can tell her story, be believed, and experience no fear or judgment.

Seek support from outside sources that have the platform to share your story. Realize that the sexual assault is not your fault. Understand that all authority figures in leadership roles of the church are not always to be trusted. Guilt and shame do not belong to you; guilt and share belong to the abuser.

Sexual assault survivors were able to overcome the tactics of their abusers to silence them. Dr. David Broadbent and Dr. Fabio Ortega were OB/GYNs who practiced for many years. Dr. Broadbent assaulted hundreds of his former patients who felt something had been “off” during the uncomfortable, often painful exams but weren’t sure where to draw the lines. Silencing sexual assault survivors by the abusers is now being overcome as survivors find their voice and, most importantly, justice.

Strategies Churches May Use to Silence Sex Abuse Victims