A Baby Boomer’s Perspective On Sexual Abuse

Written by Shirley Wilcox, team member of A Case for Women

Being a woman of a certain age and working at A Case for Women for the past ten years has truly been an eye-opener for me.  A Case for Women,  a women-owned company, empowers women — through legal action — who have been sexually abused in the workplace, sexually assaulted by their doctors and on rideshares, and even sexually abused by their teachers and coaches.

I was a little girl in the 50s — “when everything was in black and white,” as my daughter used to say — a time that was very different from today.  I share that because I want you to see my perspective then and now concerning the horrible epidemic that is racing across our reality today: sexual abuse, sexual assault, molestation of children, and hidden predators on the internet; not just the boogie man or the creep in the white van.

My parents provided my twin sister and me with everything imaginable — except air conditioning (!) — including bikes, piano lessons, dogs and cats, summer vacations, special Christmases, and more.  We really didn’t worry about much, especially of a sexual nature.  Sexual behavior was supposed to be saved for marriage, and it wasn’t talked about or warned against. The word “sex” was a dirty word.  Seems ludicrous now.

Of course there were sexual crimes at that time, but being as protected as my sister and I were in our tidy neighborhood during that era, sexual abuse was not even in our vocabulary.  I remember wondering what the word “f—” meant when I would see it scrawled on a bathroom wall.  Today we hear THAT WORD all the time.

When I was a child, the school environment felt safe.  Teachers and coaches were respected and trusted.  Our aunts, uncles, and neighbors were considered safe — but, think about it, how many laps did you sit on at family and neighborhood gatherings?  To be frank, I was never cautioned to be “aware” of a possible predator in my school or in my family.  I do remember in high school, there was a rumor about a typing teacher who spent a lot of time with the football players, doing what?  Teaching them typing?  Was it just a rumor, or was something sexual going on?  My mind couldn’t comprehend that, but at a high school reunion a few years ago, I heard the rumor was true…and they weren’t learning to type!

Today, teachers are being arrested for having sex with their underage students in unprecedented numbers, and some coaches of soccer teams or little leagues are often caught being inappropriate with their players. Teachers and coaches should be role models and mentors, and parents should not have to worry that their child could possibly be molested by school personnel. Thank God for the extraordinary teachers and coaches who teach and coach our children with wisdom and integrity. I salute you!

Sexual acts were not splashed across television or movie screens, like today.  In fact, from 1934 to 1968, there was a set of rules and guidelines for film censorship in the United States — known as the Hays Code — that Hollywood films were made to follow. The Hays Code was named after Will H. Hays, the president of the Motion Picture Producers and Distributors of America.  It dictated what content was acceptable for film, aiming to uphold traditional moral values.  The Hays Code extended to television, too.  It forbade nudity, sexual perversion, interracial relationships, and excessive violence.

NOT SO TODAY!  The culture today is sexually charged.  The content in television and movies leaves nothing to the imagination, including the sex act itself.  Research suggests that some people who watch salacious and violent content in movies, on television, and on the internet (pornography) are more likely to have violent sexual aggression than those who do not. Perhaps the Hays Code, although abandoned in the 60s and no longer restricting creative freedom, might have inadvertently saved a victim of a sexual assault predator.

Although children today can’t imagine life without the internet or cell phones, my generation did quite well without such technology.  We only had one telephone in the hall, we played outside, rode our bikes, and read real books.  There was no internet luring small children to play supposedly safe games that could deceptively lead them into the hands of a dangerous sexual predator who was lurking on the internet.  It is so very important for parents to be aware of the games their children are playing on the internet and to understand that the person their children are interacting with could be a grown man or woman with nefarious intentions to harm them.  Online predators could be chatting with your child, encouraging him or her to send nude pictures.  The predators may blackmail your child by threatening to post the pictures online for the world to see.  Unfortunately, children have committed suicide when they feel there is no way out.  Children who are encouraged to meet up with the predator can be sexually abused, kidnapped, or even killed.

Yes, this is frightening.  And, yes, it is happening today.

I’m actually thankful that I grew up “when everything was in black and white,” and the word “sex” was a dirty word.  The sex-crazed culture of today includes uncommitted sex or “hookups” and the violence and permissiveness that is prevalent in television and movies. They are dangerous.   I believe this culture may contribute to the sexual abuse that is happening today.

If you are a survivor of sexual abuse or have a loved one who has been harmed in a sexual manner, you are not alone. You can consider civil litigation, a way to hold the perpetrator or institution accountable for the harm suffered.  A Case for Women will walk you through the process as you tell your story to a compassionate team member, connect you with an experienced lawyer, and, most importantly, support you as you take back control of your life.

So — from a clueless “Baby Boomer” to an advocate “of a certain age” for the women of today who have been harmed in a sexual way, thank you, A Case for Women.  My eyes have been opened. And I know that thousands of women who have been encouraged and empowered by A Case for Women would say ‘thank you,’ too.